Reason for the Downfall 2

For those that are continuing to read, I will omit names regarding this one as I know what would happen to this person if it got out........or should I?

One evening just after she got home from running, she started texting a girlfriend of hers. She told me the girl was really upset and driving around. She told me she was gonna go meet her and help her calm down and should only be gone about an hour or so. 2 hours later I text her asking where she is. She told me she was back at her friends house because she was still upset. Got some comment about about "that's what friends do, they help each other out," something like that. An hour or so later she comes home. Less than 10 minutes later she is all hot and ready to take me to bed. Not a problem at all.

 The very next night after she went to bed, I was getting ready to go downstairs. As i was walking thru the kitchen, I got this overwhelming feeling to look at her phone. When I started reading the first message on the screen, I about hit the floor. First thing I read was this message to her girlfriend..."yeah i wish there was more time so we could have done it again......". I opened the actual message and read all of it. Skipping names and details, they were in her bedroom and my spouse was having her way with the girlfriend. There was much detail in the message. Not gonna say much more than that. 

 I took the phone to her and dropped it on the bed and told her it was nice to know how she was really consoling her friend.

 I tried really hard to get over that one. Not gonna lie, it was a conversation we had many times. I told her that if we ever went that route, it was all or nothing. Not either of us without the other. So, bottom line she cheated. Would be different if she had told me and I was OK with it. Had I not looked at her phone, it would have been kept from me. So yet again, another lie. But as always, coming from her, I was wrong for checking her phone. Maybe. But did it ever occur that what she did was wrong? Did it ever occur what that done to me and my feelings and even more important, our relationship. As much as I wanted to forget that........could not do it. The bad part is, I was still more pissed over the thing with Todd..........

OK so can anyone tell me that I was wrong for being so upset and angry now?

There is one more post to sum up the rest. Not much but there is still more.

Reason for the Downfall

Well, for those that are here to see why I have lost my family..........here it goes. First of all I realize that most of the people I work with have been given a one-sided persona / opinion of me that is FAR from the truth. I do not know the exact details of my defacing, but I know the gist of it.
  I have been told that people see the way I act and automatically know how I am. Unless they know me or have taken the time to ask me, their perception and /or given persona is only what they have been told. If a person is told that someone IS a certain way, they are gonna look for that action before anything. Human Nature.
  So for those that THINK they know me and have already decided I am a certain way, don't judge me based on the opinion of someone else ..........read on. 
 When I was initially put in the Lab, things seemed to be going well. I started to notice shortly after how my spouses actions changed when she came into the room. I noticed it was mainly towards a certain person.....Todd Taylor. When she walked in the room, it was a constant bumping him or kicking his chair or leaning against his desk and flipping her hair around............those type of actions. If she would borrow his glasses to go to the floor, she would take them and walk away looking over her shoulder at him smiling. Mind you, I was right there the whole time. I told her one evening that I felt threatened by him because of the way she acted around him. Immediately, I was jealous and didn't want her talking to him. BS! That continued for a while after, daily. I came back to my desk one afternoon and my iPod was on a texting program that I had not used in a long time. I didn't turn it on but it was right there. I got to wondering why and wondered if maybe those 2 were texting. I asked about that and it turned into nothing more than a fight. Because of her reaction and the fact it was again that I was jealous, something told me there was some truth to it. I figured out that if I logged into that texting program under her name, that I would see any texts she made using it. Nothing for about a week. One Friday, right about time to go home, I checked the program and there it was. This is EXACTLY what I found:
HER: Haven't seen you up here lately (meaning Doc. Control), not been filling the supplies....or should I say "feeling" the supplies...ha ha I crack myself up
HIM: I "feel" the supplies when I can, just been busy this week...
HER: K.......maybe I want to do some feeling of my own...

  I can only take this one way........exactly as I read it. I was furious! On the way home, I asked if they had been texting and she said "no". I showed her the text and she started in about how we were gonna get divorced. Bottom line, she lied and got busted. Was it right for me to do that? Prob not but neither is lying about texting him especially after I told her how I felt about him. 
 I checked it occasionally and the very next Friday, another message.....
HIM: If he's watching you then we should prob be more careful =) 
I was given the story that it was because he didn't want to come up there and cause trouble.....cmon are you kidding me?! If it was JUST work, whats there to be careful about? Whatever!

I replied to this so they would both see it.........
ME: Thanks Jennifer and Todd for proving what I knew was true!

 On the way home, another fight. Found out she told him that I was pillaging his cell phone to get the messages. That was again, bullshit, and made me out to be the bad guy. Not that the innuendo filled messages was wrong, but because I found out. I called and talked to him on the phone and THOUGHT it was worked out. 
  Was going home one afternoon and was walking up to the DC door coming from the mold shop. As I was approaching the door, I could see her head and his head both huddled in the corner cube. When I badged, he shot around the corner and stood there like he was there the entire time. I am not stupid. She stepped out and threw her hands up like she didn't know why I was up there.
 After that finally settled, One Saturday afternoon she went for a run and took the dog with her for the first time. After she was gone for about 20 minutes, I sent her a text to make sure she was OK with the dog. Her phone was on the TV stand. I grabbed the phone to delete the message as it was a waste. When I deleted it and closed out the text program, there was a map pulled up on her phone. Naturally I looked. I was a map from work to an address in Georgetown. I already knew Todd lived out that way, so I got the address and did a reverse lookup. As I thought, it was Todds address. Just imagine how I felt! I played dumb and asked her if she was going on a trip because of the map. She completely denied it and said she didn't do it. I asked if someone had borrowed her phone and she told me NO. WHY?! So i sat down and did a reverse lookup right in front of her. She walked back to the bedroom. I walked back there and set my phone on the bed and told her the address was to his house. She knew she was wrong. THEN, it was something about someone wanted to know where David Camm lived and she knew it was close to his house. So either, she knew his address already, or took the time to look it up in JDE. OK so who now still thinks it was nothing at all?
 I don't know anyone that would have went thru this and felt any differently. I felt betrayed because I told her how I felt about him and she went headstrong into it. Made me feel less important in the relationship. This was the beginning of the end. Next post is the next part of the downfall. Read on, it gets better.......

Back again......

OK so since last post, a little more nonsense has happened. Not to go into to much detail, part of the not so good last year dealt with my wife and my boss shit talking back and forth via texting. I read a few of the messages that was sent between them and lets just say, if any man in my position would have read what i did, they would have taken it the same way. After dealing with that crap for almost a year, I found out that she is doing this shit with another person we work with. Not really sure how to take this but it is beginning to piss me off severely. She knows this too. I am really considering telling his girlfriend about it as he is talking shit about her to my wife. He is a FUCKING CHICKENSHIT WEASEL! After fighting about that for a day or 2, it has settled a little. Mainly on my part as I have decided to distance myself emotionally. Too much shit to deal with.
So over the past couple weeks i have been posting on FB on a "supposed" private page for emplyees to vent about all the bullshit that happens at work. Obvious mole in the mix that I just recently found out about. Anyway, i had been venting about the shit talking going on without so much as mentioning anyones name AT ALL. Someone from the executive staff, I assume, went to my wife asking what was wrong with me. They proceeded to show her what I had posted and had the audacity to look at what I posted/responded to on MY FAMILIES posts. This ended in a fight between my wife and myself. Fucking dirty cowardly spineless chickenshit fucks can't even come ask ME what I am pissed about. ASSHOLES!!!
So now everything I posted outside of the employee made page, she thinks is about her. How fucking cowardly can you be to pull my wife into something that had nothing to do with her. FUCK THEM!!!!

Out for now.........

I'm Back........

WOW!!!! I did not realize how long it has been since I have posted. Not even going to attempt to try and post on all the happenings since the last post right at a year ago. There has been a lot though. Wow, just thinking about everything since then makes me angry. Yeah not much of it has been good. Mostly crap. Almost got divorced over someone misconstruing a conversation. There was much bullshit even before that. OK no more on that as I am already starting to get pissed.
Anyway, my wife has had to go out of town for work for 4 days and I am really having a hard time with it. We don't always see things the same and don't always get along but i can say that in my heart, I love her and I miss her dearly right now. She has been gone less than 12 hours and it feel like days already. Need to go now before I start posting hateful shit. Try this again another day when i am not so emotional.

Later...................

Knowledge

I just watched "The Social Network" with my wife and was very intrigued. In my own opinion while I believe the program may have been "somewhat" sparked by the Harvard idea, I have to side with Mark Zuckerberg. The guys that approached him may have had an idea, it was going to be only for Harvard school. Good for you MARK ZUCKERBERG!!!
While watching the movie, something happened in the first 20 minutes that made me laugh out loud and snicker to myself at the same time. There was something blogged about a female and how her breasts weren't what they seemed because of help from our friends at Victorias Secret.......false advertisement.
My wife wears V.S. stuff and i just had to laugh at that comment.
I love the movies like this. Especially ones that revolve around technology and computers and the internet. I only wish i was smart enough to be able to understand the HTML code. Would love to be able to do web pages and such.

Happy surfing................

W. T. F.

Ever have one of those days, well, even one of those lives where no matter what you do or how hard you try, nothing seems to go your way?

I have a college degree in CAD Design and the drive to learn things on my own to help better my life but it just seems that a certain person close to me is getting every-FUCKING-thing they want without even trying.

We work at the same company and both held administrative positions at the same time. I have been compared to this person to my face in a way to make me seem LESS of a worker. Since that time I have been demoted all the way back down to a SHIT worker. Now the other person continues to climb up the corporate ladder with ease while i am overlooked and unappreciated for all the capabilities I posess. No matter how many times i toot my own horn, it is never good enough.

I FUCKING HATE the job I have. I love the person I speak of..........

L8R............

WTF did I miss!!?

I have been dealing with Child Support now for almost 10 years. For the most part, I have kept up with it as best I can. Unfortunately, there were some issues that came about that caused me to get an arrearage.
Cut thru all the shit, at this point, I have lost wages per hour and hours per week since the last visit in court over child support. Currently child support is coming directly out of my paycheck. It is my obligation so I have no prob with that. What I do have a prob with is that child support right now is almost exactly half of what I bring home. So she is getting as much of my check as I am.
When the BIG change happened 2 years ago, I called an attorney to ask questions. I was told that the $$$ amount I lost was not enough to justify changing my support. Over a month, that is a mortgage payment! And that doesn't justify?!!
As I am nowhere near financially sound to be able to afford an attorney to fix all the shit wrong with my child support. My parents offered to help me pay for an attorney. I was willing to pay them back. I talked to an attorney and was told I was "getting screwed." Knew that already. I was told that he would help me if I went thru the local Pro-Bono program. I had tried that previously with nothing more than "we are way to busy right now."
I contacted the correct people, filled out the forms and faxed them to the facility. This is where the subject of the post comes in. After a few e-mails, I was informed that they could not help me. WHAT!!! Yeah, so apparently, we (my wife and myself) make too much money. They gave me some fucked up number that referenced to the poverty level I have to fall in before they would help. We are over 2 times the amount. Seriously!? So it appears to me that because I have a home and hold a job and try like hell to keep from losing my house, I have too much. Just like every other "ASSISTANCE", you have to have 5 kids, get food stamps, get welfare and every other type of assistance known to man to show you are in so much need of help before it is given to you.
I don't understand............I have an attorney that OFFERED free help to me provided i go thru the program and........SLAM!!!!!!! Typical bullshit. Getting screwed every week on child support, praying every day i don't get a FORECLOSURE letter but no-one wants to help me. WTF!!!
Later............

Interesting.......

Hello all.........
Just found out something pretty interesting. I am a drinker of ROCKSTAR energy drinks. I just found out that if you pour one into a glass and hold it up to a blacklight, it glows!! What is even worse, your urine is the same way after drinking one of these.

Never knew.............

Little Venting

I have held jobs since I was around 16 yrs young and realized one thing. There will always be at least one person you work with that you just cannot get along with. Which is what sparked tonights post. I will refrain from mentioning names as this is not meant to call anyone out even though I would love to.
I try for the most part to get along with everyone I work with as it tends to make the job much easier to get through a day. In my current position, there is an individual that needs a serious attitude adjustment. This person holds a position that bears no authority at all but they tend to act as though they do. You can never do right no matter what the situation and if you ask questions, they give this belittleing attitude that really pisses me off to the point of leaving and going home.
I try to do what ever i can to keep from having to deal with this person. I made the "mistake" the other day of trying to help fix an apparent problem and got the yelling, cussing and belittleing attitude. I was unaware that the problem was in the process of being fixed by another department that was on the way to take care of it. I was pretty pissed off over the situation. The other hard part is, my supervisor and this person are related by marriage so when I explained the situation, as expected, nothing was done to correct the attitude problem.

Anyway, I have more of the venting for the next post............

Later and happy surfing........

9/11 Again, my opinion

I have been hearing about the Mosque that is supposed to be built near the site of the tragic day we all remember.
All I can say to that is........WHAT THE FUCK!!! I have discussed this subject with some friends at one time and the conversation did not go well. One of them got really upset saying that we are all idiots because we are supposed to be a free country. Also that we only hate these "people" because everyone else tells us to. Seriously?! I do agree that we are a free country and other nationalities want to live here for that reason but, trying to build this thing anywhere near that place is just STUPID. I understand that not all of the Afghanistan people feel that we are the enemy, otherwise they would not be here, but some of them do. Can't keep all of the bad ones out of the country nor can you keep them out of the Mosque that is wanting to be built.
I am not gonna say I hate all afghanistan people but seriously, try asking that of the people that lost family members to that tragedy. I did not lose anyone nor did I know anyone that died in that but I can only imagine the hatred they must feel and then to be the president and say it is OK to build it!!!??? WHAT THE FUCK!!!
Go ahead, build it. I can guarantee it will not be there long before something bad happens to it. I will stop here as this pisses me off.

Later and happy surfing............

New post

Not really sure what I want to talk about this early a.m. but, just seems like I need to post something. OK I posted this and nothing comes to mind at the moment.

Oh yeah i just remembered a little something. While sitting at home last Sunday afternoon, my wife and I were discussing my daughter and how she doesn't like facial hair. The unfortunate side of that is, I carry a goatee that I have had since i can remember. So kinda joking but serious all the same, my wife said, "go shave it off once. It will grow back." So i reluctantly went to the bathroom and began the removal of my prized goatee. Took me all of 10 minutes to get it completely shaved down to a smooth surface.
So as i came into the living room,, my wife was giving me a look of confusion. She finally spoke and told me that I have to grow it back as soon as I could. She did not like it at all. On the other hand, my daughter was smiling from ear to ear. She absolutely loved it. She was rubbing her face on mine and kissing my cheeks. She said my face was soft.
I told her I was going to go back in the bathroom and put it back on and she was getting truly upset as she was telling me NO! But, as mom has the final say and because i do not like it at all, it is now back to a shaped up goatee stubble. In about 1 more week it will be back to normal. My wife enjoys the feel of my lips but likes the facial hair as well. Gonna try a few things with trimming it short and see how that goes.

Have a great day alland happy surfing...........

Catch-up and Adrenaline

My post tonight is to catch up a little and talk about my vacation.

June 26th and 27th was a LAN Party weekend. I haven't been to one in some time now. Seems every time one came up there was something going on like work or birthdays or wife having work stuff happening........
Either way, this one I went to. One of the guys in our gaming clan ({BB} Blood Brothers) came here from Chicago to do the LAN Party thing. It was good times and he enjoyed it as it was his first one. Those 2 days went by rather fast but LOTS of fun none-the-less.

My wife and I took the week after the 4th of July off for a MUCH needed vacation. We didn't go out of town, we stayed home mostly and did some fun stuff local.
There was a parade here locally for the Holiday on the 3rd so we went to watch. Wasn't a big thing but was fun to go to the festivities. My parents came down to the parade and presented me with something I swore i would never get any more of............A FUCKING DOG!!!!!! Their hearts were in the right place but I am, was, done with animals for a while. It was a female American Bulldog. Her name is Alice and she was welcomed with open arms as much as I was kicking myself in the ass. More on that later.

We did fireworks on the 4th and had a nice turnout. A good friend and myself between us had over a hundred mortar shells (the big loud ones). We set up a generic launching stand with 15 tubes. Generic but worked nicely.

Throughout the next week we swam in our pool, went to the Zoo, watched Toy Story 3 and my 3 yr old sat through the whole thing without incident. I feel like I am missing something that we did but can't remember. Seemed like we ran all week long doing things to make sure we enjoyed the vacation. And we did!!!
Now, back in May on my birthday, I was presented with a present from my wife and daughter. It appeared to be a wrapped up box. As I began to unwrap and open the box, the first thing I noticed was the blanket in top. It was my Nightmare Before Christmas blanket. Under that was what appeared to be an empty bag on the bottom which I grabbed and threw on the ground. At this point, with a dozen or so people around, I thought it was just the wife being funny. She told me I had to look in the bag that I so blatently threw on the ground. Upon opening the bag, I pulled out a full sized, laminated sheet that was information telling me about.........SKYDIVING!!!!!! My wonderful wife bought me a skydiving trip.
July 10th, 2010 was the day I jumped out of a plane (tandem) at 13,000ft in the air. Words cannot describe the experience. I can tell you this; you definately understand just how big this earth really is at that height. It was FUCKING SICK!!!! I want to do it again and again and again. I was not near as scared or intimidated as I thought I would be. Adrenaline..................

This was a quite lengthy post and I need some sleep. Hope to not be gone as long this time but, that remains to be seen. Later all and happy surfing..............

Long Time

Wow! and I don't mean the game! The time has definately gotten away from me as it is now May.
My daughter turned 20 on the 10th, my son turned 19 Thursday and my next youngest turns 16 on Monday. Damn I am old. I will be 41 on the 23rd.
Been quite a while since the last post and i am surprised I haven't been kicked off for being gone so long. I willl definately get back on here tomorrow night to post again with new information.

Later and happy surfing.......

2010

Well, another year has passed and starting fresh in a new one. I am sure that nothing will change except the date on the incoming bills.
My boys got to come in town for Christmas and stayed for almost 2 weeks. Was actually a lot of fun. I took vacation days at the last of the year so we could spend time together. Most of it was during the evening hours as my beautiful daughter had me for most of the day. They are all growing up and getting tall. My youngest has really sprouted since the last time I seen them. The middle one has gotten taller than all of them and pretty sure he is taller than me now!!
Will post more later. It is late and wanted to get something on here before it got too far out.

Night all........happy surfing............

Been awhile.....

Hey all, been a few weeks since the last post. How has everyone been?
Same ol here except that I am finally on first shift at work. Thought it would never happen at the rate they were going there for a while. Liking it better now. Don't care for the big wigs running around all over the place but, I do my job so really nothing to worry about.
Not much has happened......wow..........really nothing much to say. Still working with different organizations to help with my house in hopes to NOT lose it. My boys have not called in quite some time now and when I call, I get the same thing. No answer and no return calls after I leave messages. Guess it is time to start acting like an asshole to get her to let them call or return my calls. A lot going on in that regard though. Can't act like a fool too much as she could really fuck me right now. Nevermind the details.
My dad went in for knee replacement surgery today. We went to visit him after work today and he seems to be doing fine. He had his other knee replaced a few years ago and hopefully this will fix him up for a while.
OK the mood to post tonight has gone so I am out for now........

Later and happy surfing..........